Friday, May 15, 2026

MY GRAND CANYON STORIES - INDEX

 

I love the Grand Canyon. I love reading about its history and geology and mysteries. Most important, I love spending eight days rafting through its depths with friends. I've done that ten times in the past 36 years, with another one coming up next month, and yet another charter already booked for 2027.

Here's an index linking to all the stories I've written about my adventures over those years.

GRAND CANYON STORIES – INDEX

GRAND CANYON RAFTING - PLANNING TIPS

HUBRIS, A RAILROAD THROUGH THE GRAND CANYON, AND THE DEATH OF FRANK MASON BROWN: A PARABLE FOR OUR TIME

"F**K THE MORMONS!" ?? (re: John D. Lee, of “Lee’s Ferry” notoriety)

MEDITATIONS ON VIVALDI’S “FOUR SEASONS” AND THE GRAND CANYON

GRAND CANYON RAFTING

2018

A THOUSAND WORDS

NERDY CANYON STORIES

GRAND CANYON DRAMA

SWAMP IS A VERB

HOMESICK BLUES

COSMIC CONNECTIONS

SWAMPING THE GRAND CANYON

OLDEST GRAND CANYON SWAMPER?

2014

GRAND CANYON RAFTING – A DOZEN LITTLE STORIES

1 – A PERFECT MOMENT

2 – DON’T LET GO!

3 – JEANNE MOONS THE KAYAKERS

4 – CRYING LIKE A BABY

5 – IT DIED IN MID-STROKE

6 – BE HERE NOW

7 – THE DEATH MARCH

8 – FRED’S LIZARD

9 – NIPPLE BEERS

10 – IT DOESN’T WASH OFF

11 – JUST ONE WORD

12 – AFTERMATH

 

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GRAND CANYON RAFTING - PLANNING TIPS


We've prepared these planning tips for passengers on our two-motorized-raft trips, chartered through Grand Canyon Expeditions (GCE).

Our most important tip is this: read and follow to the letter the info from GCE's, “Expedition Information” (gcex.com). Its advice is spot-on! Here are additional tips we’ve learned from hard experience on numerous prior motorized trips.

Weather: For summer trips in the Canyon, plan for triple-digits HOT! Think light, quick-dry clothing, serious sun protection, and sun-block. It does cool down at night – kind of.

River shoes: This is the most important item to get right. Flip-flops are fine in camp, but not for hiking. Make sure your river shoes (closed-toes are best) are well-broken-in before the trip. You don’t want blisters to ruin your fun.

Relying on tennis shoes, flipflops, or cheap (or old) water shoes is a mistake. Don’t scrimp! You’ll be hiking to waterfalls, archeology sites, etc. We’ve seen too many passengers made miserable by ripped-out straps and disintegrating shoes, and messed-up feet. Lots of options; pics are just two. Wearing thin socks can help avoid blisters.

Clothing: Follow the GCE info. You will be alternately wet & dry all day. Quick-dry under- and outer-garments are best. A light-weight sarong is invaluable during long stretches on the raft in the sun, to cover up and to get wet to cool off. This is true for women and for men! GCE will have sarongs for sale at your pre-trip orientation Las Vegas, as well as hats, carabiner clips, rain gear, river guidebooks, and a few other useful items. Quick-dry shirts (some prefer long-sleeved for sun protection) and shorts (some wear pants with zip-off leggings) are good choices. Swim suits for river bathing in evenings. We’ve found that light, fingerless gloves protect your hands from scrapes and sun.  You’ll be wearing a life jacket at all times on the rafts. Clean, dry clothes in camp are nice. You’ll probably need fewer items than you think.

Hats: A wide-brimmed hat w/ chin strap is ideal – sun protection for ears and neck, won’t blow off in wind. Avoid a hat with a floppy brim; the wind in your face will bend it down and block your view. Bring a back-up hat.

Rain gear: A light rain jacket is essential; rain pants optional. Rain is always possible. But more importantly, early- and late-day rafting in windy Canyon shade can be wet and chilly.

How much to bring: The GCE material describes the limit of your personal bag as about what will fit in a grocery bag. That doesn’t include what you carry on the raft during the day (water bottle, camera, rain gear, etc.) You’ll get your one waterproof bag for personal gear during GCE’s orientation at the hotel the night before we leave. That means you’ll have plenty of time for last-minute decisions about what to take and what to leave in your luggage at the hotel. (They will safely store our luggage. They have a safe.)

Remember that everything you pack will have to be schlepped back and forth from rafts to your camp every night. Bring enough, but not too much. We like to stuff everything in Ziploc freezer bags and bring extra bags; keeps things dry & organized and sand out.

At your riverside orientation at Lee’s Ferry departure, you’ll get your numbered life jacket and your ammo can, which is good for stashing camera, sun bloc, etc., since it is always accessible to you on the raft. Again, you can use Ziplocs to ensure things stay dry inside your ammo can (usually not an issue).

Sunglasses/glasses: Safety straps are essential. Glasses get splashed a lot; a drying bandana and eyeglass cleaner in a Ziploc is nice to have for clear views of the most beautiful place on Earth.

Hikes: A small day-pack or fanny-pack is useful for frequent day hikes (as well as for carrying incidentals on the five-hour bus ride from Las Vegas to the river). Be aware, however, that your pack will get wet when clipped to the raft, or in the raft’s day-bag. Think ahead about your hiking needs (how to carry phone/camera, water bottle, while keeping hands free; walking staff?). Hiking boots are not necessary.

Water bottles: We can’t over-emphasize the importance of constant hydration. Dehydration is the biggest factor in most injuries in the Canyon. You’ll be drinking water all day on the raft, so bring a water bottle that can clip easily to gear on the raft and is easy to carry on hikes. You’ll refill it constantly from barrels of highly-filtered water on the raft. For your safety, we strongly urge you to have some system for hands-free carrying your water bottle (e.g., day pack or sling), in order to keep both hands free while hiking. Safety first!

Sleeping: You will sleep in sleeping bags on cots with a mattress (all provided by GCE and sleeping gear marked in your own bag), out in the open, over a large tarp. We highly recommend bringing a twin-size sheet for hot nights. A tiny, blow-up pillow is nice. If it rains, tents are provided. (Otherwise, it’s way too hot to sleep inside tents.)

Booze: You may bring as much booze (beer, wine, spirits) as you want. Everything should be in non-glass containers (however, if you do have a special bottle in glass that you want to bring, your guides will find safe space for it). Soft drinks, Gatorade, juices, mixers, lemons & limes, and ice will be provided. Daily supplies of drinks are kept cold in drag bags in the river. Note: If you have specific mixers or soft drinks that you want, bring your own. There is a liquor store near our hotel in Las Vegas, so you can buy what you need the day before departure.

Everyone’s booze gets stored together in a hold under the deck of one raft. It gets soaked, so any paper (e.g., beer cases, labels, wine boxes) disintegrates. Ideally, to keep your stash from getting all mixed with others, bring in a marked nylon bag. And a marker to brand your cans. You’ll have access to the booze storage only when in camp. For day drinking, you’ll load the drag bags with your desired cans each morning. As a courtesy, please drink only your own booze and mixers.

Snacks: Plenty of fruit and snacks are provided all day on the rafts, including gluten-free snacks.

Mosquitoes & ticks: None.

Scorpions & snakes: Rare, plus you’re sleeping off the ground on a cot atop a tarp. (Mice & ring-tailed cats can be a minor nuisance. Ravens will steal anything they can lift.)

Cell phones & emergencies: Bring your cell phone (in a Ziploc). Even though there is no reception on the river, in the unlikely case of an emergency helicopter evacuation, you definitely will want your phone. Same with wallet, credit card, etc. Also, you may wish to use your phone for other apps & music (w/ headphones). (For birders, we recommend the Sibley eGuide to Birds and the Cornell Lab Merlin Bird ID.) Conserve power in airplane mode. Bring fully-charged, pocket charger, with cables.

Cameras: If you need more than your phone’s camera, a waterproof camera is best, of course, but any kind can be accommodated. Bring waterproof bag. Bring pocket chargers or extra batteries.

Smoking: If you smoke anything in camp, please do so downwind and away from nonsmokers.

Music: Please, headphones only, in all locations. Singing, however, is encouraged, especially at sunset.

Toilet: The last official bathroom you’ll see is at Lee’s Ferry, from where your rafts depart. After that, you stand or squat in the river to pee – never on shore, not even on wet sand. (Women: for that reason, think two-piece swimwear and dresses/skirts in evenings.) You’ll be amazed at how quickly you adapt, since 31 other rafters will be doing the same thing as you, all day long.

In camp, the portable toilet, placed in a private (usually, unbelievably scenic) nook, is the first thing the guides set up and the last thing packed in the morning. If you have issues during the day, the guides will give you a portable contraption (swag bag) for you to use privately on shore. Everything gets packed out. When you see the pristine environment of the canyon, notwithstanding 30,000 rafters camping there every year, you’ll appreciate that leave-no-trace ethic.

Lights: You’ll definitely want a headlamp (keeps your hands free) for nighttime navigating from your camp to the river or toilet, and probably also a small flashlight. Remember extra batteries. One good thing about our trip’s timing: days are long and nights short.

Medicine: The guides can keep medicine cool, if necessary.

Fishing: Trout fishing in camp can be excellent, especially the first couple days of the trip. Spinning gear (pack rod preferable) with spinners is best. Your guides can cook any fish caught. If you’re going to fish, you must purchase an AZ license on-line prior to your trip. (A three-day license, starting June 25, is all you should need.) There will be no chance to buy a fishing license once you get to Las Vegas.

Camp routine: Finding and timing our late-day arrival at a good, vacant camping beach is an art; your guides know best; they will set our agenda. On arrival in camp, you first will quickly find and claim your own camping spot; then back to the rafts where bags, ammo cans, cots, chairs, and the kitchen gear are unloaded via conga line (bad backs excused); then you go set up cots for the night; then dinner; then a wash line for your plates & utensils; then marvel at the night sky (full moon mid-trip!); then sleep. The guides always appreciate volunteers to help with kitchen cleanup.

You can wash and shampoo in the Colorado River at camp; no special soap required. However, no soap allowed in any side stream or waterfall. Compact, quick-dry camp towels are best.

Everyone gets a foldup chair, great for when eating as well as relaxing after dinner.

You’ll be up early for coffee, breakfast, etc., then quickly packing your camp – one bag for your sleeping gear and a second for personal gear, then carry your two bags, ammo box, life jacket, and collapsed cot & chair to piles near the rafts. A conga line shuttles everything back onto the rafts, which the guides pack.

On-raft routine: On most motorized trip, you will spend eight days together on two rafts, sitting on cushions atop your bags of gear (so be careful packing squeeze bottles or anything fragile in your bag), or on the rafts’ floors or side tubes. On average, about two-thirds of the day will be rafting and about one-third for lunch stops and hikes to waterfalls and other amazing sites.

You will not have access to your personal bag during the day, but you will have access to your ammo can for incidentals, camera, etc. In addition, a large day-bag on each raft is accessible for stashing rain gear, etc. Whatever you carry onboard during the day, make sure everything loose has a clip to attach to the raft.

Guide tips: GCE suggests tips, to be spread among our four guides, of 10% of trip costs (a minimum that we strongly concur!). That may seem like a lot, until you see how hard the guides work for you. Plan to bring cash or a blank check (and a card/envelope), and give whatever amount you can. Tips are a private matter (there’s no “group” tip), typically given to the lead boatman on the final night in camp.

Physical conditioning: Almost anyone can do this trip. Nevertheless, the better your condition, the more you will be able to experience and enjoy. All day-hikes (waterfalls, side canyons, etc.) are optional, but they can be among the highlights that you won’t want to miss. On the other hand, hanging out on the beach while others hike has its own rewards. You’ll be climbing on and off the big rafts several times each day, carrying your gear, and setting up camp. In other words, it’s physical; regular walks and conditioning prior to the trip will be a worthwhile investment.

Las Vegas trip hotel: The Residence Inn by Marriott hotel, where you’ll stay the night before and after rafting, is very comfortable. (Costs are included in your payment to GCE.) Good restaurants are a quick walk away. The Strip is a short ride. The hotel has a free (shaded) parking ramp to leave your car during the trip, if you drive. You may leave luggage at the hotel during the trip (small fee). You’ll be contacted via email directly by GCE closer to departure regarding room reservation details. It will include info on extending your stay, before or after, if you wish.

Getting to the Colorado River: Brace yourself! The bus leaves the hotel on Thursday morning at 5:00 am, sharp. You can get a hotel continental breakfast before leaving. It’s a scenic, five-hour ride to Lee’s Ferry, with two brief stops: Walmart for last-minute incidentals, and another at Jacob Lake for cookies and cool tchotchkes .

Advance reading: We hope the long lead time before our raft trip will give you a chance for some reading about the Grand Canyon; it will enhance your trip. The more you know, the more there is to know about the Grand Canyon. We recommend:

*****Belknap’s Grand Canyon River Guide – 2023 edition.

The Exploration of the Colorado River and Its Canyons (J.W. Powell).

Down the Great Unknown: John Wesley Powell's 1869 Journey of Discovery and Tragedy Through the Grand Canyon (E. Volnick).

The Emerald Mile: The Epic Story of the Fastest Ride in History Through the Heart of the Grand Canyon.


Wayne’s online story: Hubris, a Railroad Through the Grand Canyon, and the Death of Frank Mason Brown: A Parable for Our Time. (free)                                                                                

Stay in touch with Grand Canyon Expeditions via Facebook: Grand Canyon Expeditions Co. | Kanab UT | Facebook

Follow a recent raft trip down the Green & Colorado Rivers to learn the status of the water crisis facing the Colorado River, on this entertaining YouTube video: A River Out of Time.

Visit GCE’s website for great videos and info: https://gcex.com

Our final advice:

“This wonderful river er nearly four centuries of discovery and exploration still flings defiance at the puny efforts of man to cope with it, while its furious waters dash on through the long, lonely gorges, as untrammeled to-day as they were in the forgotten ages. Those who approach it respectfully and reverently are treated not unkindly, but woe and disaster await all others.” – Frederick S. Dellenbaugh (member of John Wesley Powell’s second-ever, 1872 descent through the Grand Canyon), “The Romance of the Colorado River,” 1902.

Also, this one we heard before our first trip together in 2014: “When you hit a big wave and it feels like you are underwater, don’t let go.”

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Saturday, March 28, 2026

NO KINGS?

I skipped the No Kings protest today. I’d planned to go, like I did at the one last fall in Eugene. This time, after considerable internal debate, my exact words to myself were: fuck it! Instead, I stayed home and built a fenced-off area for our five new hens – now six weeks old and outgrowing their pine-shavings-clad stock tank in the garage.

I made the right decision – I didn’t think one time about our Orange Demented Lunatic. But later, the online coverage showed lots of creative signs from the marches. From the one I missed today:


The pic that really gave me pause, though, was an aerial shot of marchers today crossing the Memorial Bridge over the Potomac River in Washington, DC. It carried me back to a life-changing march across that same bridge – 59 years ago. From a distance, it was like nothing had changed.

I dug out this excerpt from my memoir (Bare Naked Wayne): 

Goodbye, Vietnam

The Vietnam War affected everything for my generation. When I hit the draftable age of 18, what was going on in Southeast Asia and Washington, D.C., suddenly was of mortal interest. I didn't want to get shot, especially for no good reason. I could find no justification for that war; everything about it was obscene.

To actually commit to that belief, though -- to act on it -- meant defying parents, society, government, and laws in life-altering ways. My college student draft deferment expired when I graduated from Michigan State University at the end of 1967, a time when the war was killing guys just like me at the rate of 1,000 every month. Thousands more maimed for life. I was prime cannon fodder. What to do?

I had seen first-hand the growing anti-war sentiment when I hitchhiked the prior year through San Francisco during the Summer of Love of 1967. That fall in Washington, D.C., at the March on the Pentagon, I resolved that I would never let myself get drafted.

Four of us had driven to D.C. from Lansing -- me with Al, Rob, and Crazy Rick (l. to r.):

We gathered on the National Mall, at least 50,000 of us (mythology says 100,000), and listened to long-since-forgotten speeches and music from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Overhead, noisy jets came and went from the airport, just as they do today. The air was electrified -- October 21, 1967.

 

We marched two miles across the Potomac River to the Pentagon, crossing the Memorial Bridge, behind a banner -- SUPPORT OUR G.I.s... BRING THEM HOME NOW! -- and chanting: Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?

When our march reached the Pentagon, an exorcism was performed, conceived in part by master, hippie, performance-art showman Abbie Hoffman. I climbed a tree, watching demonstrators led by acid-tripping Abbie in an Uncle Sam outfit, who were chanting ancient Aramaic exorcism rites to make the Pentagon levitate 300 feet in the air and turn orange and vibrate, thereby driving out the evil spirits and ending the war in Vietnam. The fortress was ringed with helmeted U.S. marshals and soldiers with bayonet-spiked rifles. None of them smiled even when hippies stuck flowers in their gun barrels.

At dusk, little fires started -- flares in the up-raised hands of boys who in ones and twos and threes lit their draft cards. Instant felons. I didn't burn my draft card then, but after that day, I never could let myself get sent to kill people in Vietnam. I experienced in that march the collective power of a rightness that eventually would force an end to that insane war. It was more than just an issue of fairness or patriotism or legality or even morality. It was common sense. I knew that getting maimed or killed in that war would have been stupid.

Abbie's exorcism of the Pentagon didn't work, a bunch of protestors got beat up and arrested, and eventually everyone else got cold and left.

Years later, I would meet Abbie and conspire with him, using his skills and infamy to help protect the Great Lakes from some major government mischief. Decades later, a plane would crash into the Pentagon not far from where those boys burned their draft cards; I would be living with my family and working just 20 miles away. One summer day, the war long past, sun sparkling in my boat's wake, I would pull my kids waterskiing under that same Potomac River bridge that we marched across in my lost, turbulent youth.

* * *

Never in my wildest fantasies could I have predicted how life would turn out. That obscene war finally did end; LBJ never did quit killing kids. It took that infernal crook, Nixon, to quiet Vietnam’s hellscape. Before it ended, nearly 50,000 Americans were killed in combat. All told, more than a million people died and lives were ruined for countless more.

Is that where we’re headed with Iran? Just like in 1967, there seems to be no way to head off catastrophe. In fact, it took more than another five years for that abominable war to end. (In fact, tomorrow, March 29, is the 56th anniversary of the official end of combat there.)

So are we headed for another Vietnam? Not likely. The first American combat deaths in Vietnam were in 1959. That big protest march didn’t happen until eight years later. In Iran, we’ve so far had (just) 13 soldiers killed (plus several hundred wounded). Total deaths, so far, are around (just) 4,500. Those are obscene numbers, to be sure, and certain to get way worse. But look at today’s protest. It didn’t take years to come about. It’s been just one month since Commander Cheeto started this.

Like so many others – the protest marchers and those who root from the sidelines (or their chicken coops) – I grieve daily for what’s become of our country. And I worry for our future. The Man-in-Charge is certifiably demented. Lost in his lunacy. Surrounded by sycophants who are blinded by ignorance and greed.

I’ve always believed that the Epstein scandal would be the end of the Asshole. Unless, that is, he started an uncontrollable war of distraction. Now that he’s done that, what’s next? So the war goes to Hell. So the economy follows. So the Dems sweep the Fall elections. So the courts keep swatting him. So what? He's still the "King" for another two-plus years. More than a third of our neighbors still think he's doing a good job. Fuck.




Wednesday, January 28, 2026

MY TOO-CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH DIRECTV

I was certain that we needed a new cable receiver, since the screen had been freezing up regularly. But replacing it meant losing all our saved programs, so I’d been procrastinating for months. I’d planned to binge watch this week all my saved Ken Burns documentaries, since I’m recovering from a nasty cold and can’t do much else. Still foggy this morning and home alone for the day, for some reason I decided to finally call DirecTV and just get it over with, figuring I could get through my shows before a new receiver arrived.

I called on our land line (yes, we still have one) and connected with a very nice woman. Despite my stuffy ears, her Indian accent, and our sketchy phone, I managed to communicate the problem. She checked our account and said we have the latest receiver, so that wasn’t the problem. She directed me to go downstairs and turn on the TV. On cue, the screen froze up for several seconds.

We have a new diagnostic system, she explained, and said it required a smart phone so she could see the TV screen in real time. She waited while I retrieved my iPhone and the code she sent. So now I’m juggling our old telephone, the TV’s remote, and my iPhone, which connected as she instructed. Picture three electronics, but only two hands.

That’s when I realized that we were essentially doing a FaceTime call. I fumbled to get my iPhone aimed in the right direction. I swung it around and can’t say for sure where it got pointed. The problem was that I was doing all this buck naked.

Later, I explained and apologized for “if I grossed you out,” but she seemed nonplussed and didn’t even respond.

It appears that we did get the TV’s problem fixed, by simply resetting the receiver, something I could have done myself without all that R-rated exposure. And that’s how my day started.